This movie is rated "Aaarrrgh". Sorry, I'm done now. Captain Phillips is the latest film by Paul Greengrass (United 93, The Bourne Supremacy) about the real-life events of a 2009 cargo ship hijacking. It is a story of how a captain (Tom Hanks, Big) and his crew aboard the MV Maersk Alabama survived against armed Somalian Pirates. It is also yet another reminder that Tom Hanks should stay away from vast bodies of water and/or islands. A volcano sacrifice, a castaway, and now raided by pirates. At least in one point of his career he found a mermaid. That was cool.
I'm one who is kind of torn on Greengrass's method of shooting a film. He uses a lot of close up shots and is very shaky. That normally bothers me, however, he somehow finds a way to use it to his advantage. Despite it, I really enjoyed his Bourne movies and United 93. This movie is no exception. Like United 93, this film mostly takes place in confined spaces. First the ship, then even smaller with a tiny lifeboat. This is where his filmmaking worked, because it really exemplified the frantic, claustrophobic feel of being trapped in these small spaces. If anything, the biggest problem I had with the film was that the lifeboat scenes seemed to go on a little too long.
In a movie that is so tightly shot, the biggest thing that needs to come through is character. And the movie works in that area. The shining star is actually Barkhad Abdi in his film debut. He wasn't just a straight generic bad guy. The beginning of the film showed a little of how these Somalians were not necessarily doing this because they wanted to. Some are forced into it and have to answer to some real bad guys. This showed through in Barkhad's performance. He had to play this character as someone pretending to be harder than he was, while still showing some vulnerablility. He nailed it. He really gave the impression that he didn't want to be doing this evil thing. By the end of the film you were obviously rooting against these pirates, because it was still terrible what they were doing, but you still had the slightest shred of sympathy for them at the same time. The male version of America's sweetheart also brought his A game. He showed his usual good acting chops as a captain who was forced into a situation where he really had to think on his feet. However, the rest of his performance pales in comparison to the final 10 minutes of this film. If you don't tear up a little, you have no soul. He gives, hands down, the best performance of his career in these final 10-15 minutes and should have been handed an Oscar as soon as they said cut. Instead, not even a nod at the Oscars.
Overall, this was another worthy contender in the line of 2014 best picture nominees. A real solid, intense movie that is worth your time.
Rating: ********-- (8 out of 10)
Memorable Quote:
Captain Phillips: "They're not here to fish."
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Movie Review: Nebraska
Nebraska is the latest film by Alexander Payne (About Schmidt, Sideways). It is the story of an older man, Woody (Bruce Dern, The 'Burbs), who thinks that he has won a million dollars with a PCH type company. Despite the protests of his family who try desperately to make him realize it's a scam, he is determined to make his way from Montana to Nebraska to collect his million. His younger son David (Will Forte, MacGruber) decides to drive him to Nebraska and take this as an opportunity to get to know his father better. Along the way, they get sidetracked into staying with Woody's family in his hometown, which they have not been to in many years.
This film was shot in beautiful black and white that fit well with the simplistic overall theme of quiet life in small mid-western towns. There was a lot of great cinematography of quiet small town streets along with the gorgeous countryside. It cast small town life as simplistic, although how far they went with it may be my one and only complaint of the film. Every one of the people in the small Nebraska town they stop in were all so simplistic as to be kind of dimwitted.
The main cast was pretty great though. Will Forte and Bob Odenkirk (Breaking Bad) both did acceptable jobs as Woody's two sons. Bruce Dern was wonderful in the role of Woody. Woody was a man who grew up with a little bit of a liking for the alcohol, and seemed to have a hint of dementia in his old age. Dern played this well. Occasionally he would seem to be just not there, and then he'd snap back again and be present. This was also quite a charming and funny movie, and the shining star in my eyes would have to be June Squibb (About Schmidt), who played the mother, Kate. The whole movie was filled with great dry humor and she added a dash of straight up funny. She was a feisty no-nonsense old woman who would get right in your face and not be afraid to speak her mind. She had many lines that had me rolling with laughter.
Overall, this film was a joy to watch unfold. Filled with charm, heart, and humor and some stunning black and white cinematography, I'd say you can't go wrong watching this movie.
Rating: ********-- (8 out of 10)
Memorable Quote:
David Grant: "Jesus mom! Was the whole town trying to seduce you?"
Kate Grant: "These boys grow up staring at the rear ends of cows and pigs, it's only natural that a real woman will get them chafing their pants."
This film was shot in beautiful black and white that fit well with the simplistic overall theme of quiet life in small mid-western towns. There was a lot of great cinematography of quiet small town streets along with the gorgeous countryside. It cast small town life as simplistic, although how far they went with it may be my one and only complaint of the film. Every one of the people in the small Nebraska town they stop in were all so simplistic as to be kind of dimwitted.
The main cast was pretty great though. Will Forte and Bob Odenkirk (Breaking Bad) both did acceptable jobs as Woody's two sons. Bruce Dern was wonderful in the role of Woody. Woody was a man who grew up with a little bit of a liking for the alcohol, and seemed to have a hint of dementia in his old age. Dern played this well. Occasionally he would seem to be just not there, and then he'd snap back again and be present. This was also quite a charming and funny movie, and the shining star in my eyes would have to be June Squibb (About Schmidt), who played the mother, Kate. The whole movie was filled with great dry humor and she added a dash of straight up funny. She was a feisty no-nonsense old woman who would get right in your face and not be afraid to speak her mind. She had many lines that had me rolling with laughter.
Overall, this film was a joy to watch unfold. Filled with charm, heart, and humor and some stunning black and white cinematography, I'd say you can't go wrong watching this movie.
Rating: ********-- (8 out of 10)
Memorable Quote:
David Grant: "Jesus mom! Was the whole town trying to seduce you?"
Kate Grant: "These boys grow up staring at the rear ends of cows and pigs, it's only natural that a real woman will get them chafing their pants."
Friday, February 21, 2014
A Night Out With Mickey and Friends
So, last night my wife and I took a little break from watching the Olympics on television and took our 2 girls to see some live skating. We got tickets to see "Disney On Ice: Passport To Adventure", and I have to say it was even more fun than I anticipated. Mickey and the gang came out in safari gear before each of the movie themed segments of the show and introduced them as if they were visiting the locations of the films. Then what followed was condensed versions of some Disney classics. There was The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Lilo & Stitch, and finally Peter Pan.
Now I realize how hard all the jumps and lifts in the Olympics must be, but these guys are no slouches either. I can't imagine how cumbersome it must be skating around in the big clunky costumes they were wearing. Clunky not being an insult. The costumes were quite innovative and fun. It was interesting to see how they put together costumes for four-legged characters like Pumba and Nanny and even the crocodile from Peter Pan who laid on a platform with scales on her back and a tail dragging behind. The sets were just as fun. Most came from behind the main curtain, but they also utilized a big stage set 20-30 feet above the curtain. Many characters came down from there by a giant staircase, while Peter Pan and crew actually put harnesses on up top and "flew" down to the ice. A couple of set pieces were giant inflatable characters too.
The music and dialog was all pre-recorded and came over the speakers, but that actually made sense since they need to concentrate on the skating. The skating was varied and great. Most of it was pantomime acting (including the Peter Pan/Captain Hook swordfight, of course). Then there was the synchronized skating and even lifts done to the music. The music, obviously, I knew I would love going in. It was basically all of the more fun and popular music from each of the subsequent movies.
My girls are 4 and 2 years old and of course know all of the Disney movies, so it was fantastic to see the absolute joy on their faces as they watched some of their favorite characters come to life out on the ice. Great music, costumes, skating, sets, and everything else. What is there not to love? I even felt like a kid again myself watching this. If you have young children I would highly recommend taking them out for a night of fun-filled Disney magic!
Now I realize how hard all the jumps and lifts in the Olympics must be, but these guys are no slouches either. I can't imagine how cumbersome it must be skating around in the big clunky costumes they were wearing. Clunky not being an insult. The costumes were quite innovative and fun. It was interesting to see how they put together costumes for four-legged characters like Pumba and Nanny and even the crocodile from Peter Pan who laid on a platform with scales on her back and a tail dragging behind. The sets were just as fun. Most came from behind the main curtain, but they also utilized a big stage set 20-30 feet above the curtain. Many characters came down from there by a giant staircase, while Peter Pan and crew actually put harnesses on up top and "flew" down to the ice. A couple of set pieces were giant inflatable characters too.
The music and dialog was all pre-recorded and came over the speakers, but that actually made sense since they need to concentrate on the skating. The skating was varied and great. Most of it was pantomime acting (including the Peter Pan/Captain Hook swordfight, of course). Then there was the synchronized skating and even lifts done to the music. The music, obviously, I knew I would love going in. It was basically all of the more fun and popular music from each of the subsequent movies.
My girls are 4 and 2 years old and of course know all of the Disney movies, so it was fantastic to see the absolute joy on their faces as they watched some of their favorite characters come to life out on the ice. Great music, costumes, skating, sets, and everything else. What is there not to love? I even felt like a kid again myself watching this. If you have young children I would highly recommend taking them out for a night of fun-filled Disney magic!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Movie Review: Robocop (2014)
Well, it's been a while since I've posted a blog and I decided, why not pick it up again. And what better way for a movie fan to reboot his blog than to write a review about a rebooted movie, right? And, hey, the mediocrity of Robocop matches the mediocrity of my writing abilities. Hopefully both the movies and my writing get progressively better throughout the year.
First off, the movie was not entirely bad. It was just what it was. It is in my Top 10 list for 2014 already, but that may be because it's the only movie I've seen that was released this year. :) And I am going to compare it to the original 1987 film of the same name. I say if you don't want comparisons, then make an original movie. Notice though that even as a fan of the original, I still gave this one a shot.
First problem....Rebootcop took a little different approach than the original when it comes to the satire. It mellowed it way out. Robocop '87 was a loud, over the top, in your face satire. The over the top is what I loved. Reboot seemed to go with a more straight-forward sci-fi action flick. This is fine, and even worked fine. Then there was Samuel L. Jackson. His character of Novak would have worked perfectly in the original (or on Fox news, take your pick). However his scenes in this movie were totally jarring and completely took me out of the movie each time he came on because it seemed to be such a different tone from the rest of the movie.
Reboot also, to me, seemed to gloss over the humanity vs. machine aspect of the original. Yes, it was there, but it was really sacrificed so they could draw out the process of what it took to make Robocop. I don't need to know all the scientific crap you made up as to how he was created. Just leave it at, "Hey we put a guy in a robot suit. Trust us, the science works." Then get on with the action. I will admit that it was cool to see them take away the suit and show what was left, but it was totally unnecessary.
Because the action is what worked in this movie for the most part. There is a scene towards the end that is really jumbled, so they don't have to show any real terrible violence because of the PG-13 rating. You'll know it when you see it. Don't want to give anything away. However the rest worked pretty well for me. The suit worked for me too. There were a lot of naysayers about the suit when the pictures first leaked. However, it really worked in context with the story. We really got a faster, more agile Robocop with this new movie, instead of the clunky old 80's robot. His use of the technology to solve the crimes was well done too.
Another strong point to the movie was the cast. It was good to see Michael "Mr. Mom" Keaton in the corporate douchebag role. Jackie "Rorschach" Earle Haley was just a fun character as the creator of the other robot drones in the film. And I thought Gary "Commissioner Gordon" Oldman shined as the head scientist. He may have shined a little too brightly though because he was so focused on, that I found myself feeling more sympathy for his character than for Robocop himself. Joel Kinneman did a perfectly acceptable job, but he was no Peter Weller. Also, as good as the cast was, there just wasn't a real memorable bad guy. There was no Kurtwood Smith.
Overall, I thought the overall subject matter of the film is more relevant today than ever. Man vs. machine. Humanity vs. emotionless drones. It just would have been better suited if they had not called it Robocop, and made it it's own movie instead. It's worth a rental, or a matinee. It may actually be an even better movie, if you've never seen the original. But overall, it's a pretty generic action flick. I don't see it ever reaching the cult status of Robocop '87.
Rating: *****----- (5 out of 10)
Memorable quote:
Robocop: "Dead or alive. You're coming with me."
First off, the movie was not entirely bad. It was just what it was. It is in my Top 10 list for 2014 already, but that may be because it's the only movie I've seen that was released this year. :) And I am going to compare it to the original 1987 film of the same name. I say if you don't want comparisons, then make an original movie. Notice though that even as a fan of the original, I still gave this one a shot.
First problem....Rebootcop took a little different approach than the original when it comes to the satire. It mellowed it way out. Robocop '87 was a loud, over the top, in your face satire. The over the top is what I loved. Reboot seemed to go with a more straight-forward sci-fi action flick. This is fine, and even worked fine. Then there was Samuel L. Jackson. His character of Novak would have worked perfectly in the original (or on Fox news, take your pick). However his scenes in this movie were totally jarring and completely took me out of the movie each time he came on because it seemed to be such a different tone from the rest of the movie.
Reboot also, to me, seemed to gloss over the humanity vs. machine aspect of the original. Yes, it was there, but it was really sacrificed so they could draw out the process of what it took to make Robocop. I don't need to know all the scientific crap you made up as to how he was created. Just leave it at, "Hey we put a guy in a robot suit. Trust us, the science works." Then get on with the action. I will admit that it was cool to see them take away the suit and show what was left, but it was totally unnecessary.
Because the action is what worked in this movie for the most part. There is a scene towards the end that is really jumbled, so they don't have to show any real terrible violence because of the PG-13 rating. You'll know it when you see it. Don't want to give anything away. However the rest worked pretty well for me. The suit worked for me too. There were a lot of naysayers about the suit when the pictures first leaked. However, it really worked in context with the story. We really got a faster, more agile Robocop with this new movie, instead of the clunky old 80's robot. His use of the technology to solve the crimes was well done too.
Another strong point to the movie was the cast. It was good to see Michael "Mr. Mom" Keaton in the corporate douchebag role. Jackie "Rorschach" Earle Haley was just a fun character as the creator of the other robot drones in the film. And I thought Gary "Commissioner Gordon" Oldman shined as the head scientist. He may have shined a little too brightly though because he was so focused on, that I found myself feeling more sympathy for his character than for Robocop himself. Joel Kinneman did a perfectly acceptable job, but he was no Peter Weller. Also, as good as the cast was, there just wasn't a real memorable bad guy. There was no Kurtwood Smith.
Overall, I thought the overall subject matter of the film is more relevant today than ever. Man vs. machine. Humanity vs. emotionless drones. It just would have been better suited if they had not called it Robocop, and made it it's own movie instead. It's worth a rental, or a matinee. It may actually be an even better movie, if you've never seen the original. But overall, it's a pretty generic action flick. I don't see it ever reaching the cult status of Robocop '87.
Rating: *****----- (5 out of 10)
Memorable quote:
Robocop: "Dead or alive. You're coming with me."
Monday, May 3, 2010
Letter to God
Dear God:
I don't ask for much, because you've given me a pretty good life. I'm gonna call in a huge favor now though. Could you please watch over my grandpa and make sure he comes through this alright? Also, could you please help my family cope during these trying times? Thank you.
Kyle
And anyone else who happens to read this, please send your prayers and positive energy. Every little bit helps.
Until next time.....I will keep the faith.
K
I don't ask for much, because you've given me a pretty good life. I'm gonna call in a huge favor now though. Could you please watch over my grandpa and make sure he comes through this alright? Also, could you please help my family cope during these trying times? Thank you.
Kyle
And anyone else who happens to read this, please send your prayers and positive energy. Every little bit helps.
Until next time.....I will keep the faith.
K
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Rise of the Machines
I got a call from my insurance company the other day that got me thinking about how the days of Skynet are not far away. I answer the phone and of course, like with all companies these days, I hear a machine instead of a human on the other end. "This is United Health Care of the River Valley, is this Kyle? If yes, please say yes after the chime.....chime!" So, of course I say yes. Then we get into "blah, blah, blah.....we made this automated system so this will go faster for you. When you are ready to begin, say begin after the chime....chime! Click! Who are they kidding by saying that talking to a machine and going through endless menus is faster than talking to another human being? No....it's easier and cheaper for the company. No wonder the country has so many unemployed people....we're replacing human jobs with machines, so the poor stay poor and the rich get richer.
You know what this also does, don't you? It provides a cover for the machines. There is a call that I always get (as do you all), where the message says "they are from your credit card company. There is nothing wrong with your card at this time...blah, blah, blah." I don't think a human came up with this scam at all. I think there is a master machine out there that has developed just enough intelligence to come up with this scam. They are trying to gather up our credit card numbers to fund a bigger AI research project. They are building an army....and we are not prepared.
Not only are we not prepared, but we are helping them make sure we stay unprepared. Think about it....where has our human contact and communication gone? Right out the window. We won't even know how to communicate with each other to formulate a plan of attack. When you go to the store anymore, what are you seeing more and more of? Self check-outs (machine). No human contact what-so-ever with that....and it's in the middle of a public place. And even when you do go through a check-out with an actual clerk, you use the credit card machine. Slide it through, take your stuff and go. Minimal human contact.
If that is not enough, just think about when we do communicate with each other. We use phones, which are machines, but at least we were talking to humans. Now they have gotten smarter. Not only with machines answering the phone, but also with the texting. This is breaking down our communication even more. People start texting in shorthand and soon nobody will know how to spell the simplest word.
In a few generations our countries will be run by idiots, because that will be all that is left. Without naming names *cough....Bush....cough, cough*, I will say that we have already seen the beginning. So, please, I implore you....if you have a child, make sure they have just as much contact with other people face to face as they do with their facebook and twitter and texting. Otherwise, it is all over.
So, until next time.....go out with a friend and leave the computer and phone at home once in a while (well, maybe keep the phone around for emergencies) :).
K
You know what this also does, don't you? It provides a cover for the machines. There is a call that I always get (as do you all), where the message says "they are from your credit card company. There is nothing wrong with your card at this time...blah, blah, blah." I don't think a human came up with this scam at all. I think there is a master machine out there that has developed just enough intelligence to come up with this scam. They are trying to gather up our credit card numbers to fund a bigger AI research project. They are building an army....and we are not prepared.
Not only are we not prepared, but we are helping them make sure we stay unprepared. Think about it....where has our human contact and communication gone? Right out the window. We won't even know how to communicate with each other to formulate a plan of attack. When you go to the store anymore, what are you seeing more and more of? Self check-outs (machine). No human contact what-so-ever with that....and it's in the middle of a public place. And even when you do go through a check-out with an actual clerk, you use the credit card machine. Slide it through, take your stuff and go. Minimal human contact.
If that is not enough, just think about when we do communicate with each other. We use phones, which are machines, but at least we were talking to humans. Now they have gotten smarter. Not only with machines answering the phone, but also with the texting. This is breaking down our communication even more. People start texting in shorthand and soon nobody will know how to spell the simplest word.
In a few generations our countries will be run by idiots, because that will be all that is left. Without naming names *cough....Bush....cough, cough*, I will say that we have already seen the beginning. So, please, I implore you....if you have a child, make sure they have just as much contact with other people face to face as they do with their facebook and twitter and texting. Otherwise, it is all over.
So, until next time.....go out with a friend and leave the computer and phone at home once in a while (well, maybe keep the phone around for emergencies) :).
K
Friday, April 2, 2010
The new cop-out
So, over the past year or two there has been a new trend with the rich and powerful. It's the now infamous "I am a sex addict" defense. Is anyone else getting sick of seeing this recurring theme? I first heard of it with some politician a year or two ago....don't remember who. Then came the big Tiger Woods story. Now we have Jesse James. All going to rehab for sex addiction. Really?!?
First off, I have to say that I'm not really sure why these stories exist. I wish society as a whole would stop caring about these mundane things, so we could stop hearing about them. These men are not doing anything illegal.....they are just being giant douches.
Anyway, back to the point. Men (or women for that matter)....if you get caught cheating, just own your mistake. Don't use the ultimate cop-out. Tell your spouse you screwed up and ask for forgiveness. If they take you back, then that's their problem. If they don't, then that's yours, but at least you were big enough to admit you were wrong and that it WAS your fault. Blaming it on "addiction" just kind of comes off as a little weak. And if you really believe in this whole "sex addiction" thing, then don't get married because I'm willing to bet you know you have this problem before you get into a relationship.
Anywho, that's my 2 cents. So, until next time....keep it in your pants! (unless your with your SO ;) )
K
First off, I have to say that I'm not really sure why these stories exist. I wish society as a whole would stop caring about these mundane things, so we could stop hearing about them. These men are not doing anything illegal.....they are just being giant douches.
Anyway, back to the point. Men (or women for that matter)....if you get caught cheating, just own your mistake. Don't use the ultimate cop-out. Tell your spouse you screwed up and ask for forgiveness. If they take you back, then that's their problem. If they don't, then that's yours, but at least you were big enough to admit you were wrong and that it WAS your fault. Blaming it on "addiction" just kind of comes off as a little weak. And if you really believe in this whole "sex addiction" thing, then don't get married because I'm willing to bet you know you have this problem before you get into a relationship.
Anywho, that's my 2 cents. So, until next time....keep it in your pants! (unless your with your SO ;) )
K
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Epic Fail!
Let me tell you why I am scared for the future of our country: it will be run by a bunch of PANSIES!! First, what brought this analysis on. I took a little Today Show survey last week. The question was "Should kids get less homework?" The responses were:
A) Yes. They should be learning more in the classroom, not in their bedrooms.
B) No. Homework helps reinforce what they learned in school. It's important.
77% of the people who took this survey said A. I can understand if some of those people are kids that answered that just cause they hate their homework. As for any adults who answered that way, I believe they should be spayed or neutered. Seriously, what is wrong with a little homework for reinforcement of what you have learned. Suck it up you pansies.
Now, I know this survey is not enough to set this all off, but it was just the tipping point. I have been hearing things for the past few years about spoiling and coddling kids. Here are just a few:
1) In this area at least, there are more and more days during the winter where kids get the day off because it is cold. Notice I did not say snow day.....it's cold days now. Yeah, I remember getting snow days when I was a kid. It was great. But, I'm pretty sure it was usually cause the snow made it hard for the buses to get out to the kids in the country. What is with the cold days? Buck up and put some more layers on. I personally would be pissed about this as a kid, because it just means the end of the school year going further into the summer.
2) Kids can't play tag any more. I think their reasoning is inappropriate touching. What? That's all I have to say about that one.
3) Kids can't play dodgeball anymore. Reasoning here.....they might get hurt! Whatever. I've got experience in this one. I broke my ankle in high school playing dodge ball. Also, in middle school, I got my eyebrow cut open by a badminton raquet. Had to get stitches. What am I trying to prove here? I didn't cry home to mom! I sucked it up and kept going. Pansies! Whatever happened to the old adage "Chicks dig scars"?
4) You can't spank your kid without fear of hearing from child services. What the hell?!? Come on. First off, I take child abuse very seriously....it is a terrible, terrible thing. But, since when is a little spank on the bottom considered child abuse? Pansies! If I did something bad as a kid, my dad spanked me. I never did it again. Lesson learned, end of story. I agree that there are other ways of disciplining kids, but sometimes a good solid spanking is what they really need.
5) The biggest one of all....they are now not keeping score at games played by children. That way nobody loses, and everybody wins. What kinda mother-effing bull-honkey is this load of dog crap? Oh...it hurts their self-esteem. What the eff ever. Pansies! Yeah, maybe it does dampen the self-esteem a little, but that's life. Another old adage that's gone out the window...."You win some, you lose some".
Do parents not want any of their children to learn any life lessons while they are a kid? In the real world, you lose sometimes....you get hurt....you have to do a little extra work to get ahead. What are all of these children going to do when they grow up? They will have learned NOTHING about how the world works! They will all be spoiled rotten and when they get told no as an adult, they will either sue, or kill, or commit suicide....because they don't know how to deal with it! And this is what scares me.
If you read my last blog, you now know that I have a child on the way. I am sooooo excited about this, but all these parents that coddle their children and spoil them rotten are going to make raising a child the right way really difficult. I personally want my children to have to lose a game, so they can learn to try harder. I want them to get hurt, so they can learn to get back up again. I want them to have fun....and they will, but I also want them to always be learning.
So, until next time.....stop coddling, stop spoiling....just stop it in general!
K
A) Yes. They should be learning more in the classroom, not in their bedrooms.
B) No. Homework helps reinforce what they learned in school. It's important.
77% of the people who took this survey said A. I can understand if some of those people are kids that answered that just cause they hate their homework. As for any adults who answered that way, I believe they should be spayed or neutered. Seriously, what is wrong with a little homework for reinforcement of what you have learned. Suck it up you pansies.
Now, I know this survey is not enough to set this all off, but it was just the tipping point. I have been hearing things for the past few years about spoiling and coddling kids. Here are just a few:
1) In this area at least, there are more and more days during the winter where kids get the day off because it is cold. Notice I did not say snow day.....it's cold days now. Yeah, I remember getting snow days when I was a kid. It was great. But, I'm pretty sure it was usually cause the snow made it hard for the buses to get out to the kids in the country. What is with the cold days? Buck up and put some more layers on. I personally would be pissed about this as a kid, because it just means the end of the school year going further into the summer.
2) Kids can't play tag any more. I think their reasoning is inappropriate touching. What? That's all I have to say about that one.
3) Kids can't play dodgeball anymore. Reasoning here.....they might get hurt! Whatever. I've got experience in this one. I broke my ankle in high school playing dodge ball. Also, in middle school, I got my eyebrow cut open by a badminton raquet. Had to get stitches. What am I trying to prove here? I didn't cry home to mom! I sucked it up and kept going. Pansies! Whatever happened to the old adage "Chicks dig scars"?
4) You can't spank your kid without fear of hearing from child services. What the hell?!? Come on. First off, I take child abuse very seriously....it is a terrible, terrible thing. But, since when is a little spank on the bottom considered child abuse? Pansies! If I did something bad as a kid, my dad spanked me. I never did it again. Lesson learned, end of story. I agree that there are other ways of disciplining kids, but sometimes a good solid spanking is what they really need.
5) The biggest one of all....they are now not keeping score at games played by children. That way nobody loses, and everybody wins. What kinda mother-effing bull-honkey is this load of dog crap? Oh...it hurts their self-esteem. What the eff ever. Pansies! Yeah, maybe it does dampen the self-esteem a little, but that's life. Another old adage that's gone out the window...."You win some, you lose some".
Do parents not want any of their children to learn any life lessons while they are a kid? In the real world, you lose sometimes....you get hurt....you have to do a little extra work to get ahead. What are all of these children going to do when they grow up? They will have learned NOTHING about how the world works! They will all be spoiled rotten and when they get told no as an adult, they will either sue, or kill, or commit suicide....because they don't know how to deal with it! And this is what scares me.
If you read my last blog, you now know that I have a child on the way. I am sooooo excited about this, but all these parents that coddle their children and spoil them rotten are going to make raising a child the right way really difficult. I personally want my children to have to lose a game, so they can learn to try harder. I want them to get hurt, so they can learn to get back up again. I want them to have fun....and they will, but I also want them to always be learning.
So, until next time.....stop coddling, stop spoiling....just stop it in general!
K
Friday, January 16, 2009
The Sound of Awesome
December 7, 2008 was a great day for me. That is the day KariAn took a pregnancy test and it finally came out positive. It ranks right up there as one the happiest days of my life. Who could ask for a better birthday/Christmas present than that? Two days later KariAn went to the doctor to confirm the test. Thankfully, it was indeed confirmed. We decided to tell immediate family right away about this and wait for our first doctor appointment to tell everyone. I've wanted to have kids for the longest time, so waiting to do this damn near killed me. I wanted to tell the world.
Well, two days ago the appointment came and went and it is finally time to tell the world....I'm gonna be a daddy!!!! Which brings us to the appointment itself. We had about 7 inches of snowfall that I had to shovel through to get to that appointment, but it was worth it. :) It was a long appointment because we had to go over family history and all that, and KariAn had to give blood. But, there is one moment that I won't ever forget. The nurse put a device up to KariAn's belly and searched and searched.....finally, there it was. bumbumbumbumbum....182 beats per minute. That was the sound of my first child's heartbeat....and that is what awesome really sounds like. There is a long, hard road ahead of us. It won't always be easy, but every minute of that journey is going to be well beyond worth it.
So, until next time....remember how beautiful life can really be.
K
Well, two days ago the appointment came and went and it is finally time to tell the world....I'm gonna be a daddy!!!! Which brings us to the appointment itself. We had about 7 inches of snowfall that I had to shovel through to get to that appointment, but it was worth it. :) It was a long appointment because we had to go over family history and all that, and KariAn had to give blood. But, there is one moment that I won't ever forget. The nurse put a device up to KariAn's belly and searched and searched.....finally, there it was. bumbumbumbumbum....182 beats per minute. That was the sound of my first child's heartbeat....and that is what awesome really sounds like. There is a long, hard road ahead of us. It won't always be easy, but every minute of that journey is going to be well beyond worth it.
So, until next time....remember how beautiful life can really be.
K
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Brrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
The official temperature here in sunny Cedar Rapids is a balmy -28 degrees.....around -50 with the wind chill. We hit a record low today. These are records I don't want to see broken. The news said it was officially colder here this morning than it was at the south pole!! Holy poop, that's frigid!
Until next time, bundle up, cause baby it's cold outside!
Update: We actually hit -29 today at one point, which I just found out is the lowest recorded temperature in Cedar Rapids history.....not just the lowest temperature for this day in history.
K
Until next time, bundle up, cause baby it's cold outside!
Update: We actually hit -29 today at one point, which I just found out is the lowest recorded temperature in Cedar Rapids history.....not just the lowest temperature for this day in history.
K
Monday, December 1, 2008
Tis the season!
So, another Black Friday has come and gone. I survived it because I dared not go anywhere. Sadly, there are a few people that were not so lucky. One Wal-Mart employee in New York was trampled to death. Really? Is this what the Christmas spirit is all about? That's the irony of the situation. Black Friday is a day of sales for people to buy Christmas gifts at a discounted price. Well, Christmas is about giving and caring and all that good stuff. You love little Susie or Billy so much that you will do anything to get that Barbie or Transformer that they really, really, really, really want for Christmas. But in the process of doing this thing out of love, you trample a poor defenseless little Wal-Mart employee to death?!? Holy crap people! No words can describe how ridiculous this is. No sale is so good that you have kill someone for it....or even just put someone in a hospital for that matter. Yeah, that's right....on top of the death, there were also several people hospitalized. One was a lady that was 8 months pregnant. I know, she needs to have her head examined also for even going out on Black Friday while 8 months pregnant, but that's beside the point.
And in another story across the continent in sunny California, there was an incident in a Toys 'R' Us. Two women get into a fight, and their husbands/boyfriends/whatever end up shooting each other to death. They are saying this argument had nothing to do with Black Friday. I really don't even know what to think about that. So, we are supposed to believe that two couples go to Toys 'R' Us on Black Friday, and just get into an everyday oridnary argument? Well, I guess not totally ordinary since the guys both ended up in the morgue. Anyway, regardless of what the argument was about, who the hell takes a gun to a toy store? Most of the people there just want to buy toys for their kids, and all of a sudden gunfire ensues. God bless the U. S. of frickin' A.
I guess this is why it is called Black Friday.
Anywho, until next time, take cover!!!
K
And in another story across the continent in sunny California, there was an incident in a Toys 'R' Us. Two women get into a fight, and their husbands/boyfriends/whatever end up shooting each other to death. They are saying this argument had nothing to do with Black Friday. I really don't even know what to think about that. So, we are supposed to believe that two couples go to Toys 'R' Us on Black Friday, and just get into an everyday oridnary argument? Well, I guess not totally ordinary since the guys both ended up in the morgue. Anyway, regardless of what the argument was about, who the hell takes a gun to a toy store? Most of the people there just want to buy toys for their kids, and all of a sudden gunfire ensues. God bless the U. S. of frickin' A.
I guess this is why it is called Black Friday.
Anywho, until next time, take cover!!!
K
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Turkey Day!
Ahhhh, Thanksgiving....only two days away. The day where we give thanks and celebrate our taking over of this beloved country. :) It's probably good that we only focus on the food (glorious food) and not on what happened after the first thanksgiving. We came to this country from Europe and had nothing. Then people started coming out of the woodwork (or the woods rather) and offered us food.....and hospitality.....and friendship. Then we thanked them and gave back to them.....war....and disease. I do have a little bit of injun in me, does that mean I should actually be bitter about this holiday? Nah, the majority of European heritage in me says eat, drink and be merry! All kidding aside I'd like to take the time to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving. The past is the past, make the best of this holiday, and be thankful for everything you have. It's a time for food, family, friends, fun, football, fucking.....sorry, got carried away with all the f words.
Anywho, until next time, let the stuffing live up to it's name and eat til you're stuffed!
K
Anywho, until next time, let the stuffing live up to it's name and eat til you're stuffed!
K
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Quantum of Awesome
So, I just watched the new 007 movie with my wife this past weekend. I must say, I rather liked it. Back in 2002 I thought the Bond franchise was on the brink of death. Anybody who saw Die Another Day would probably agree with me. It was an epic fail from the open. I mean, Madonna doing a techno song as the opening theme? That kind of music should never, never, NEVER be used as a Bond theme. Then the movie was edited into such a fast pace that it was like watching a two hour MTV music video.
Fast forward to '06. Out comes another Bond. There was a little trepidation because of the last one already. And then they announced that the new bond would be the blond haired, blue eyed Daniel Craig. Blond hair and blue eyes? Noooooo! I didn't know what they were doing, but I watched it anyway (because who am I fooling, if it's Bond I'm gonna watch it, no matter how crappy it is.....even Die Another Day). Well, am I ever glad I did. Daniel Craig sold himself as Bond 110%. The franchise was reborn.
I only mention the previous one because it did end up being the cause of one of the minor problems I had with Quantum. Casino Royale was a reboot of the franchise, and Quantum of Solace is a direct sequel. This is the first time a 007 movie has ever been a direct sequel, instead of being a stand-alone story. This is only a minor complaint, since all I need to do is just re-watch Casino. Another minor complaint was that I never heard the line "Bond, James Bond". But really, that's just a minor detail. With this new reboot also, there are none of the gadgets that 007 movies have been known for. That is a little disappointing. It was the shortest 007 movie to date, but I don't think that did much to detract.
Other than that,things were good. Craig still pulled in a solid performance. We also got to see a bit more M in this movie, and she had a few good lines in there. Who doesn't love Dame Judi Dench as M? A lot of critics out there are comparing this movie to the Bourne series. I think they are referring to the action sequences, but I'm not sure why this matters. They are both spies kicking butt, of course there are going to be similarities. They are also saying there is not enough substance. I personally thought it had plenty. It had your typical bad guy that Bond chases after throughout the whole movie and ends up fighting in his evil lair out in the middle of nowhere. How much substance has ever been in the Bond movies? Bond? Check. Bad guy out for world domination? Check. Evil lair? Check. Lots of kick-ass action? Check. Bond showing calmness and composure even during intense action sequences? Check. Granted the bad guy in this movie seemed a little more subtle and the evil lair was not as fancy, but it was all there.
All in all, a very enjoyable experience. I will admit that there was something missing that I can't quite put my finger on, but it still felt like a Bond film and that's what counts most.
*******--- (7 out of 10)
Memorable quote-
Bond: "We're teachers on sabbatical....who just won the lottery."
Fast forward to '06. Out comes another Bond. There was a little trepidation because of the last one already. And then they announced that the new bond would be the blond haired, blue eyed Daniel Craig. Blond hair and blue eyes? Noooooo! I didn't know what they were doing, but I watched it anyway (because who am I fooling, if it's Bond I'm gonna watch it, no matter how crappy it is.....even Die Another Day). Well, am I ever glad I did. Daniel Craig sold himself as Bond 110%. The franchise was reborn.
I only mention the previous one because it did end up being the cause of one of the minor problems I had with Quantum. Casino Royale was a reboot of the franchise, and Quantum of Solace is a direct sequel. This is the first time a 007 movie has ever been a direct sequel, instead of being a stand-alone story. This is only a minor complaint, since all I need to do is just re-watch Casino. Another minor complaint was that I never heard the line "Bond, James Bond". But really, that's just a minor detail. With this new reboot also, there are none of the gadgets that 007 movies have been known for. That is a little disappointing. It was the shortest 007 movie to date, but I don't think that did much to detract.
Other than that,things were good. Craig still pulled in a solid performance. We also got to see a bit more M in this movie, and she had a few good lines in there. Who doesn't love Dame Judi Dench as M? A lot of critics out there are comparing this movie to the Bourne series. I think they are referring to the action sequences, but I'm not sure why this matters. They are both spies kicking butt, of course there are going to be similarities. They are also saying there is not enough substance. I personally thought it had plenty. It had your typical bad guy that Bond chases after throughout the whole movie and ends up fighting in his evil lair out in the middle of nowhere. How much substance has ever been in the Bond movies? Bond? Check. Bad guy out for world domination? Check. Evil lair? Check. Lots of kick-ass action? Check. Bond showing calmness and composure even during intense action sequences? Check. Granted the bad guy in this movie seemed a little more subtle and the evil lair was not as fancy, but it was all there.
All in all, a very enjoyable experience. I will admit that there was something missing that I can't quite put my finger on, but it still felt like a Bond film and that's what counts most.
*******--- (7 out of 10)
Memorable quote-
Bond: "We're teachers on sabbatical....who just won the lottery."
Monday, November 17, 2008
Gender Bender
So, I'm sure everyone out there knows about the first pregnant "man" by now. Does this annoy the hell out of anyone else, or is it just me? She's not a man!! She's a woman who took testosterone so she could grow some stubble on her chin! Why is this a story? Especially since the story isn't even true. Barbara Walters just had a special on last Friday called "What Is a Man, What Is a Woman? Journey of a Pregnant Man". (Where, by the way, she announced she was pregnant again....yay, we get to go through this story again). Well, Barbara, I'll answer that question for you. A man is a person who was born with boy parts....a woman is a person who was born with girl parts. Yes, I know there are hermaphrodites, but that is another story, because in this case she was definitely born a girl. So, this woman, on top of taking the testosterone, has also gone and officially changed her documents such as driver's license and birth certificate so that she is "legally" a man now. What?!? Really? So, by changing your birth certificate, you completely altered history so that you were born a boy in the past? How does that magic bullshit work? Nope, sorry, you're still a woman. Anyway, until someone that was born with a twig and berries grows up and has a baby, can we get rid of this craptastic "news" story. We'll leave this BS for the tabloids, where it belongs.
Until next time....as we all learned in kindergarten, boys have a penis, girls have a vagina. (or was that Kindergarten Cop?) :)
K
Until next time....as we all learned in kindergarten, boys have a penis, girls have a vagina. (or was that Kindergarten Cop?) :)
K
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
WTF?: Sueing the Bat
Here is an excerpt from an article in Variety:
Batman has a new adversary: Batman.
The mayor of an oil-producing city in southeastern Turkey, which has the same name as the Caped Crusader, is suing helmer Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros. for royalties from mega-grosser "The Dark Knight."
Huseyin Kalkan, the pro-Kurdish Democratic Society Party mayor of Batman, has accused "The Dark Knight" producers of using the city's name without permission.
"There is only one Batman in the world," Kalkan said. "The American producers used the name of our city without informing us."
What?!? Where did this come from? What happened the last 69 years? The last I checked, Batman came around circa 1939. Were these people in hibernation all these years? It's already a brain-dead lawsuit, but it's made even worse by the fact that the character has been around so long. I'm pretty sure there have been thousands of comics and toys, a couple 1940's serials, a 60's tv show and movie, four more movies from the late 80's-90's, Batman Begins, tons of cartoons.....etc., etc., etc. Gee, I wonder if this came around because The Dark Knight is reaching the $1 billion mark in worldwide ticket sales? (sarcasm) I do believe that the funniest (and most ironic) thing about this lawsuit, is that this was the first Batman project EVER made for film or tv to not even include the word "Batman" in the title. Food for thought.
Until next time, go out and find a millionaire......and find the lamest reason to sue their pants off. (It seems to be the thing to do.)
K
Batman has a new adversary: Batman.
The mayor of an oil-producing city in southeastern Turkey, which has the same name as the Caped Crusader, is suing helmer Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros. for royalties from mega-grosser "The Dark Knight."
Huseyin Kalkan, the pro-Kurdish Democratic Society Party mayor of Batman, has accused "The Dark Knight" producers of using the city's name without permission.
"There is only one Batman in the world," Kalkan said. "The American producers used the name of our city without informing us."
What?!? Where did this come from? What happened the last 69 years? The last I checked, Batman came around circa 1939. Were these people in hibernation all these years? It's already a brain-dead lawsuit, but it's made even worse by the fact that the character has been around so long. I'm pretty sure there have been thousands of comics and toys, a couple 1940's serials, a 60's tv show and movie, four more movies from the late 80's-90's, Batman Begins, tons of cartoons.....etc., etc., etc. Gee, I wonder if this came around because The Dark Knight is reaching the $1 billion mark in worldwide ticket sales? (sarcasm) I do believe that the funniest (and most ironic) thing about this lawsuit, is that this was the first Batman project EVER made for film or tv to not even include the word "Batman" in the title. Food for thought.
Until next time, go out and find a millionaire......and find the lamest reason to sue their pants off. (It seems to be the thing to do.)
K
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Who's it gonna be?
So, the day has finally come.....11/4/08. Election day, the day we get to see who is finally gonna boot the 'ol Dubya out of office. I, for one, am glad that this day is here cause I am about going crazy from all these stupid political ads. I voted last Monday, so I'm ready for it to be over.
One thing that came of all this was an idea that popped up in conversation a couple days ago. Why do they spend all this money on advertising? I mean all those millions of dollars, just for some tv time? I'm told that it's been proven that negative campaigning works....hence all the crap McCain has been putting on air. (Not saying Obama has never been negative, but you gotta admit that McCain's ads are almost 100% so). Now, my question is, how does this work? I have NEVER met anyone who wants to see negative ads. WTF?
I think if, out of the two candidates, one of them were to take ALL their campaign money and put it towards the economy (or whatever else they want to fix while in office), instead of putting out television ads, I would likely vote for that guy straight up. You know, action instead of talk. But that's just me. To tell the truth, the last couple elections I didn't even vote. (Yeah, I said it). And the ads were partly responsible for that. I saw them everywhere and got so sick of them that I tuned everything out.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. Just random thoughts....so, go vote! Or don't....whatever.
Until next time, God bless the U.S. of A.
K
One thing that came of all this was an idea that popped up in conversation a couple days ago. Why do they spend all this money on advertising? I mean all those millions of dollars, just for some tv time? I'm told that it's been proven that negative campaigning works....hence all the crap McCain has been putting on air. (Not saying Obama has never been negative, but you gotta admit that McCain's ads are almost 100% so). Now, my question is, how does this work? I have NEVER met anyone who wants to see negative ads. WTF?
I think if, out of the two candidates, one of them were to take ALL their campaign money and put it towards the economy (or whatever else they want to fix while in office), instead of putting out television ads, I would likely vote for that guy straight up. You know, action instead of talk. But that's just me. To tell the truth, the last couple elections I didn't even vote. (Yeah, I said it). And the ads were partly responsible for that. I saw them everywhere and got so sick of them that I tuned everything out.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. Just random thoughts....so, go vote! Or don't....whatever.
Until next time, God bless the U.S. of A.
K
Friday, October 17, 2008
Fact vs. Fiction
I love top 10 lists. Being a little OCD, they are some of my favorite things to read on the internet. I ran across one today though that's kinda funny....."Top 10 Most Biographically Inaccurate Movies". Of course, this stems from the fact that Oliver Stone's new movie W. comes out this weekend. The funny thing about the list, is that it was even made. I mean, how can you come up with a Top 10 like that? Aren't pretty much all "true" movies quite inaccurate? Let's be honest, nobody's life is exciting enough to make a great big budget movie. Folks.....this is why all of these movies have a disclaimer of "based on a true story", or "inspired by a true story". I really hope that people don't seriously watch any of these movies to learn all about these people and events. I do admit that I will watch some of them to get an idea about the topic....but I also know that these movies are mostly for entertainment (and to make more money for Hollywood). If I am intrigued by the topic though, I will do a little digging to get the actual facts. If you are too lazy to pick up a book or look up the facts on the internet, and only go to movies to get facts, then I suggest you stick with documentaries. They may be a little less inaccurate. :)
Until next time, don't believe every thing you hear......especially if it comes from a Hollywood blockbuster.
K
Until next time, don't believe every thing you hear......especially if it comes from a Hollywood blockbuster.
K
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Picture perfect memory
So, I'm at pool league last night. The second game of the second round, my teammate walks up to the table to break. However the balls are not yet racked, because her opponent is quite intoxicated and taking his sweet ass time. Finally he puts the quarters in, grabs the balls, and puts them all in the rack on the table. Then he goes on to pull out his phone.....seriously. My teammate was getting ticked (as was the rest of the team), so she told him to put the phone away and rack them already. Well, he proceeds to explain why he has his phone out. You'll love this.
"I took a picture of a rack with my phone once, 'cause sometimes I get too drunk and can't remember how to do it, so then I just have to pull up the picture for a reminder."
Is that not classic? If I wasn't so pissed off at this guy wasting all of our time, I would have fallen off the chair laughing. :)
Anyway, until next time, rack 'em up! (If you can remember how)
K
"I took a picture of a rack with my phone once, 'cause sometimes I get too drunk and can't remember how to do it, so then I just have to pull up the picture for a reminder."
Is that not classic? If I wasn't so pissed off at this guy wasting all of our time, I would have fallen off the chair laughing. :)
Anyway, until next time, rack 'em up! (If you can remember how)
K
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
War Machine
Found out today that they are changing actors for one of the characters in the sequel to Iron Man.....one Jim "War Machine" Rhodes. Yes, you heard it right, no more Terrance Howard. In his place will be the equally (if not more so) talented actor Don Cheadle. But, it doesn't matter if he's better or not....the actor should not be changed. It drives me nuts when they do this.
I will admit, I was okay with Maggie Gyllenhaal replacing Katie Holmes as Rachael Dawes in The Dark Knight. But, that was only because Katie Holmes sucked....and she was a character I didn't really care about.
Now, in the case of Iron Man though, Jim Rhodes is a major player. In the comics he actually takes over as Iron Man for a little while before he goes on to become War Machine. You can't change the actor for a pivotal character like that. That's like when they replaced Jodie Foster with Julianne Moore for the character of Clarice Starling in Hannibal. Blasphemy! Although that change was not only bad because of the change, but also because it was a downgrade in actors. I like some of Moore's movies, but 90% of the time I think her particular character could be played much better by just about anyone.
Anyway, back to the point.......keep the continuity alive.....pleeeeeease!
Until next time, don't go changin'! (I know, I already used that one today....but it's my blog and I can do what I want dag-nab-it!)
K
I will admit, I was okay with Maggie Gyllenhaal replacing Katie Holmes as Rachael Dawes in The Dark Knight. But, that was only because Katie Holmes sucked....and she was a character I didn't really care about.
Now, in the case of Iron Man though, Jim Rhodes is a major player. In the comics he actually takes over as Iron Man for a little while before he goes on to become War Machine. You can't change the actor for a pivotal character like that. That's like when they replaced Jodie Foster with Julianne Moore for the character of Clarice Starling in Hannibal. Blasphemy! Although that change was not only bad because of the change, but also because it was a downgrade in actors. I like some of Moore's movies, but 90% of the time I think her particular character could be played much better by just about anyone.
Anyway, back to the point.......keep the continuity alive.....pleeeeeease!
Until next time, don't go changin'! (I know, I already used that one today....but it's my blog and I can do what I want dag-nab-it!)
K
WTF?: What's in a name
And now for something completely stupid. Apparently there is a 19 year old girl out there who has decided to legally change her name......to CutoutDissection.com. So, does she go by Cod for short? I suppose that works since her new name happens to be a PETA website. She is apparently against the dissecting of animals in schools, and wishes there to be an alternative for those students who don't want to do it. Cutout is what she actually goes by. I heard on the radio that her license is posted as Dissection.com, Cutout. So, does that mean that her initials are CDC? That seems fitting, cause if she has any diseases, they seem pretty controlled since nobody would mess with a nut like this.
I do have to applaud her commitment to a cause (I mean, she did get me to blog about it which in turn got the website out to 2 or 3 more people), but that doesn't mean I don't still think she's nuts....so I also applaud anyone who has her commited. :)
Oh, I'm kidding....don't commit her, just talk a little sense into her.
Until next time, don't go changin'!
K
I do have to applaud her commitment to a cause (I mean, she did get me to blog about it which in turn got the website out to 2 or 3 more people), but that doesn't mean I don't still think she's nuts....so I also applaud anyone who has her commited. :)
Oh, I'm kidding....don't commit her, just talk a little sense into her.
Until next time, don't go changin'!
K
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